Dear Baby Girl:
Just a quick note to you. We are about four months from meeting you. This is great news to me! You are so kick-y. You wiggle all day long. I think about you a lot, especially in terms of the question: "What will your name be?" So far, that is a question without an answer. Stay tuned though. I think we have at least ten names that we kind of like.
Your brother can answer the question, "Where is mommy's baby?". He points to my abdomen and more often than not, he kisses my stomach. He also lifts my shirt to poke my belly button. Both things really tickle me.
I think I selected the hospital you will arrive in, which is different than the one I used before. I had a dream though that I was delivering you and the hospital had really, really bad food. I wanted to go back to the other one across town because they had Pepsi and really good fruit salad. I think I need to find out if the newer hospital has good food, too, so I can rest easy!
Love
Mama
PS - I didn't get you any Christmas gifts yet. Sorry! That means Christmas 2011 will be a great year for presents for you (from me).
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Letter to My Daughter, Middle of Pregnancy
Dear Sweetheart,
I think about you often, but I confess that I do not have the same thoughts for you right now as I did for your brother when I was pregnant with him. I was constantly praying for his health, wondering about his birthday, and feeling confused about how I would be a good mother to him. I worried all the time, but while I was worrying about him and our relationship, I was really soaking him in.
I am not as worried during this pregnancy with you. I am not worried about what will happen in the next few weeks to your body or mine - I can kind of predict it. I am not as focused on your next OB appointment because I know what to expect from the doctors and when to call if there is a problem. I am not very worried about the day you will be born because I know it will happen when we are both ready (or the labor enhancing drugs we might have to take start working!). You will probably be born in April and that will be so nice to have some flowers blooming to show you when we take you home. I also feel very less worried about caring for a newborn as I did before. I feel confident about holding you, wearing you in a sling, washing you in a tub, changing your clothes, diapering, you, and I even know nursery rhymes and lullabies for you. I feel confident to be your mother.
I also have not written about the details of this pregnancy in as much depth as I did for your brother's blog site. Part of this is lack of technology this time - that stinker broke our scanner! So your lovely ultrasound images are simply in a book instead of online (for now). We also had trouble with our home computer this fall before buying a new one. Besides technology, I have to divide my time differently than I did two years ago. Though I worked full time (and had a side job tutoring) I felt as if I had much more free time to do things like writing and researching for your arrival.
I will tell you that you remind me of your presence hourly. You kick and twirl so often. I have felt you since 12 weeks, which is a month earlier than I was "supposed to have", but I think its because of your positioning and my keen mindfulness. I feel lucky to have just ONE day pass with out throwing up, and this at 20 weeks, 2 days. Its so difficult to be pregnant and to feel sickly. But I have just accepted it as the norm for me, and it makes me even more excited to be UN-pregnant. I will be able to enjoy you AND enjoy food and life again! What a triple whammy!
For the last month I have been seriously considering your name. And reconsidering. The short of it: you are still nameless. I know what your name will NOT be, but not what we will name you. I very much want you to have a name you are proud of, as well as a name that is age appropriate for most stages of your life. Therefore, I want you to have a very sweet, small nickname that is absolutely precious and playful. I also want your name to be mature and stately so your professional life will command respect from the time they see your name on your resume. This is a tall order! I will try my best in this mission, and I accept that one day you may dislike your name. You might want to change it. You might want me to have named you like your favorite cartoon character, but I hope one day you will respect the name we chose because it was not a matter I flippantly decided upon.
I hope the next three and a half months pass quickly enough to satisfy my urge to meet you, but slowly enough that you have adequate time to prepare for life outside of your cozy little nest.
Love
Your Mama.
I think about you often, but I confess that I do not have the same thoughts for you right now as I did for your brother when I was pregnant with him. I was constantly praying for his health, wondering about his birthday, and feeling confused about how I would be a good mother to him. I worried all the time, but while I was worrying about him and our relationship, I was really soaking him in.
I am not as worried during this pregnancy with you. I am not worried about what will happen in the next few weeks to your body or mine - I can kind of predict it. I am not as focused on your next OB appointment because I know what to expect from the doctors and when to call if there is a problem. I am not very worried about the day you will be born because I know it will happen when we are both ready (or the labor enhancing drugs we might have to take start working!). You will probably be born in April and that will be so nice to have some flowers blooming to show you when we take you home. I also feel very less worried about caring for a newborn as I did before. I feel confident about holding you, wearing you in a sling, washing you in a tub, changing your clothes, diapering, you, and I even know nursery rhymes and lullabies for you. I feel confident to be your mother.
I also have not written about the details of this pregnancy in as much depth as I did for your brother's blog site. Part of this is lack of technology this time - that stinker broke our scanner! So your lovely ultrasound images are simply in a book instead of online (for now). We also had trouble with our home computer this fall before buying a new one. Besides technology, I have to divide my time differently than I did two years ago. Though I worked full time (and had a side job tutoring) I felt as if I had much more free time to do things like writing and researching for your arrival.
I will tell you that you remind me of your presence hourly. You kick and twirl so often. I have felt you since 12 weeks, which is a month earlier than I was "supposed to have", but I think its because of your positioning and my keen mindfulness. I feel lucky to have just ONE day pass with out throwing up, and this at 20 weeks, 2 days. Its so difficult to be pregnant and to feel sickly. But I have just accepted it as the norm for me, and it makes me even more excited to be UN-pregnant. I will be able to enjoy you AND enjoy food and life again! What a triple whammy!
For the last month I have been seriously considering your name. And reconsidering. The short of it: you are still nameless. I know what your name will NOT be, but not what we will name you. I very much want you to have a name you are proud of, as well as a name that is age appropriate for most stages of your life. Therefore, I want you to have a very sweet, small nickname that is absolutely precious and playful. I also want your name to be mature and stately so your professional life will command respect from the time they see your name on your resume. This is a tall order! I will try my best in this mission, and I accept that one day you may dislike your name. You might want to change it. You might want me to have named you like your favorite cartoon character, but I hope one day you will respect the name we chose because it was not a matter I flippantly decided upon.
I hope the next three and a half months pass quickly enough to satisfy my urge to meet you, but slowly enough that you have adequate time to prepare for life outside of your cozy little nest.
Love
Your Mama.
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